One-Sided Separation: Doable, Not Impossible

DivorceNo divorce is easy. With all the proceedings and court settlements linked with separation, no one wishes to undergo the process as much as possible. Aside from taking its toll financially, it comes with emotional uncertainties and other anxieties.

Fortunately, while divorce is hard, it need not be devastating. Some divorces can be happy events. Transitions can be healthy, especially if you’ve lost yourself. It also makes way for a successful new life for you and your family.

How is this possible? Joel S. Seidel & Associates says it’s actually easier than you think.

Set Some Goals

Divorce is actually the Land of the Unknown. As you enter uncertain territories, think about how you want the entire process to unfold, and the life on the other side, too. Consider the kids: Do you want to set goals to keep them out of the middle? What about your finances? How much money do you plan to spend?

If it’s possible, discuss everything with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Try to commit to the same goals so you can support each other in the future.

Observation (Minus the Judgment)

During the dramatic waves of separation, it’s easier to attach negative feelings and retaliate when your ex throws something your way. Hard as it is, taking a step back and witnessing the situation arise is the ideal step.

Without acting on them, observe the emotions that build up inside you. Also, observe the actions of your ex-partner and consider the pain triggered by the situation. Wait for the dust to settle and choose how you respond. This approach results in a better outcome compared to heated outbursts.

Preserve your Dignity

If you can follow the steps above, you preserve your dignity. As you proceed down the new path, remember that your troubles won’t last for long. Taking a shortcut is tempting but a dignified approach is always better. Also, as a parent, you serve as your children’s role model. When you uphold your dignity, you do the same for them.

The best approach to a one-sided divorce involves being the best person. Regardless of whether the ex plays to the same rules, consider your options carefully.